2005-03-08 - 4:08 p.m.
Hallo,
In regards to my shifting views and feelings, I figured I would expand and update.
I am having a good day today. Not so much because I think my relationship with Love is safe, but that my focus is on the greater good. While that means not doing anything right now, it doesn't mean forever. I can do this right, no matter what that means, and that makes me feel better. Focussing on the greater good comforting the idea of my personal loss.
While I found "What the Bleep. . ." preachy, I keep thinking in its terms. Today I was framing concepts of creation against time, and what that means in a world of potential. I have the desire to build something that lasts "forever" and I was framing that in shifting terms of temporal nature. As it is a world of infinite possibilities, it necessitates that some things, if not all things be eternal. The difficulty of infinites in a realm as free form as mathematics is that every bit is infinite, and while comparative measures may be possible, they may also be found baseless.
Also, shifting perspective from Solonic judgement of outcomes, to a process oriented evaluative system. That makes things easier to deal with, as the process of execution becomes central, and thus outcome becomes a relative fraction over duration.
In short, since I didn't like how things were measuring up, I am playing with the rulers today. I can still tell that I am sad, but I can see the possibilities for joy, both past and present.
I think I am fighting again, but my goal is not to hold external things together, it is to hold the kernal of truth at the heart of our love, and cut away the the schaff (sp).
I am also dressed as a Pirate! Yarrrgh.
